Lab Rat in......Life

Remember remember…..yey it’s November! Breast Cancer Awareness month is over for another year and we can take a deep breath again, can’t we? Well, in reality no, but at least we’re not being bombarded quite as much now, rather than getting upset by all the SU2C adverts my grumpiness is aimed instead at all the Christmas adverts that are out waaaaaaaaay too early! Bah Humbug!!!!! So, I know it’s not long since my last post and it may seem that I’ve just given up on trying to find imaginative titles for my blogs, but I have a lot to write about this month, and most of what I have to write about follows on from my October post so it seemed appropriate….. but I promise my next post won’t be entitled December! 😉 I am always interested to see which of my blog posts strike a chord with people and which ones seem to draw the most feedback. It was interesting last month after my little rant about October and the talk of the mental health issues that can accompany a diagnosis such as ...

Well it’s that time of year again! The dark nights are drawing in, the jumpers are out and the heating is on. We’re starting to wonder where the summer went and worry about the long winter ahead. The leaves are turning golden and falling off the trees, and the change of season is so beautifully apparent. I don’t know about everyone else, but this time of year always gets me looking back and reminiscing a bit, this may be in part due to a now annual tradition I have with some friends to meet every October for a spa weekend. Sometimes it is our only chance during the year to get together and chat, so of course there is a lot of looking back at the year since we last met. This year was no different, and wow how things have changed for me in the last year. I don’t think I realised it at the time, but last October was probably when I was at my lowest point since my diagnosis and losing mum. At first when all the bad stuff was happening, I kinda just got on with things. I suppose it was ...

I suppose it’s about time for another blog post, in fact I think its way overdue. I’ve just been so busy of late I’ve barely had the time to process my own thoughts, let alone put them down into words! It’s probably been pretty hard to miss the fact that I’ve been doing a lot of challenges to raise money for Maggie’s, I’ve not exactly been quiet about it on social media (my apologies if it’s starting to get boring!!). I started the challenges back in February with the aim of doing a different challenge every month for a year, I started modestly but as time has gone on I’ve found the challenges getting more and more difficult or extravagant! In February I walked 10,000 steps every day, in March I ran 5K, in April I managed to rope my friends into hosting Kitchen table days (and of course did one myself), in May I swam the length of Loch Ness, In June I did a 40ft bungee jump, in July I climbed Ben Nevis and in August I walked the West Highland way! Are you tired yet?? I know I am! But...

Dear Cancer, I'm not sure why I'm writing you this letter,  I've seen people doing it online and heard it suggested as a therapeutic process,  as a way of putting your feelings into words and letting go of them I suppose.  I understand why other people do it,  but I never felt the need,  I write my blog and that works for me.  I never felt like addressing you personally, as you are, of course, not a person or thing that I can talk to,  you're just a group of cells that grow uncontrollably, not your fault but nature's, surely? So no, I haven't felt the need to write to you,  until now. Why now you might ask, well because enough is enough and I think you need to know that! If you were indeed a person you'd be the worst kind,  the kind that shows up uninvited knowing that nobody wants you there and hangs around causing trouble way after everyone else has left the party. I was polite at first, I didn't blame you for coming,  if anything ...

So it’s not even two weeks since I last wrote a blog post, I usually leave at least a month or two between posts, so you can probably guess that I’m feeling the need to write again so soon because something has happened and I just need a wee rant about it. So apologies in advance for any ranting! As my chemo finished last May and Radiotherapy in July, I think a lot of people hadn’t realised that I was still undergoing some treatment. Herceptin ( Trastuzumab ) is a targeted treatment used to treat people with HER2 positive breast cancer (and some other types of cancer too). My treatment started with my first Docetaxel chemotherapy last May and was to be administered by injection every 3 weeks for a year (18 doses). My final dose was due to be given on the 9 th May. A s the Herceptin can have an effect on the heart and on the white blood cells I was required to have an echocardiogram (ultrasound of the heart) and blood tests b efore the Herceptin can be administered which were to ...

I mentioned in my last blog how some days hold greater significance than others, and although I try my best not to weigh too much pressure on certain dates sometimes they come at you by surprise. When I applied to do the Inverness 5K as my March challenge I hadn’t realised that the 11 th March was Mother’s Day this year, it sort of took my breath away when I found out. I hadn’t planned to do anything to mark the day, but it seemed that chance or fate or whatever you like to believe had other ideas. It seemed like a great tribute to my mum and also inspired me to dress up in bright colours with, of course, a touch of bling. As the day approached it felt like Mother’s Day this year was on overdrive, I’m sure it’s always the same way but this was my first since losing mum and every pink sign or bunch of flowers in the supermarket felt like a personal attack. Luckily, I had the race to worry about and that was a big distraction. When I woke up that Sunday my first thought was about the ...

The last few months have been filled with difficult moments and milestones. The first Christmas & New Year without my mum, my " cancerversary " ( a year from diagnosis), a year since my surgery, and yesterday (2nd Feb) marks a year since I received my results from surgery and was referred to oncology for chemotherapy. This date on it s own doesn't really mean much to me, but the Breast Clinic use this as the date for their year review. So yesterday I was back in that same room where I first heard those words "I'm afraid it is cancer", with the surgeon I haven't seen for a year to have my breasts examined and then stuck in a vice (okay the mammogram machine isn't actually as bad as it seems but it did remind me of a cartoon I've seen doing the rounds on Facebook).  All went well, although I have to wait a few weeks for the results to come through. I don't feel overly worried about these results, perhaps because I'm still rec...