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It's all about me

So, as it’s World Mental Health day today, I thought it might be a good time for me to write another blog post. Over the last couple of years I have found that writing these blogs really helps me to process how I’m feeling and make sense of some of thing things that have been going on in my life. After publishing my last post I was starting to feel like it is time to stop writing, interest in the blogs seems to have waned and I started to convince myself that people were getting fed up of me whining on about cancer. The thing is, I never really wrote these blogs for other people, of course it is always nice to get positive feedback and I did hope that by sharing my own experiences I could help other people, but the main reason was to get the millions of whirling thoughts out of my head and down on paper (metaphorically speaking). I came to the realisation that writing these blogs is good for my mental health, I just need to remind myself that worrying about other people’s reaction to...
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My Marathon

For those of you who don’t know, in April I ran the London Marathon!! I’m chuckling to myself as I write this as I imagine anyone who can still be bothered to read my blog will undoubtably already know this. I have been harping on about it for rather a long time! I can’t actually quite believe it now, even two months later. It’s strange when something that has been a lifelong ambition suddenly becomes ‘something I did once’. It went from a crazy unattainable dream to, well, it can’t be that hard if I did it!! Funny how our minds like to exaggerate and/or trivialise things (or is that just my mind?!). There is some truth to the ‘If I can do it, anyone can’ statement I suppose, serious health conditions aside, if I can run 26.2 miles, then I imagine most people can. I’m not an amazing runner and I’m not in peak physical condition. I’m not even particularly enthusiastic about running, it takes a lot of mental back-and-forths, complaining and making excuses before I manage to...
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Lemonade

When something bad happens and people don’t know what to say or do to make things better we tend to turn to the words of others to find comfort, aphorisms or platitudes, that was certainly true when I was diagnosed and I find myself doing the same things whenever my friends or family are dealing with difficult situations. “In darkness look for stars” “when it rains look for rainbows” “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade” etc etc. Sometimes these words bring comfort and other times they are downright annoying, generally though I found them helpful, even if not true, I found comfort in the fact that people wanted to help and make me feel better. It might just be easier to say “This is sh*t and I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this” but not everyone is built that way. I’m not a particularly religious person but I have always tried to cling on to the belief that everything happens for a reason, a belief that has become harder and harder to maintain over the years, I still try...
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Angels and Demons

So as I’m sat on the train making my way back up to Inverness for my two year check up I thought I’d have a lot of time to sit and reminisce and perhaps get nervous about my up coming appointments, but the wonder that is the rail service in this country decided to intervene with delays, which together with freezing cold temperatures has managed to direct my thoughts and worry in another direction! LOL, at least some good can come out of all the disruption! I remember writing a blog around this time last year explaining how the 2nd Feb is a bit like my New Year now, it’s the date when my annual mammogram is due, now two years since I was referred to Oncology to start my treatment. Last year I wasn’t particularly nervous about the appointment, I was still receiving my Herceptin injections and felt pretty protected after all the chemo and radiotherapy, this year is a little bit different. It’s now a while since I finished treatment, I’ve moved away from the bubble that was my life in Inve...
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November

Remember remember…..yey it’s November! Breast Cancer Awareness month is over for another year and we can take a deep breath again, can’t we? Well, in reality no, but at least we’re not being bombarded quite as much now, rather than getting upset by all the SU2C adverts my grumpiness is aimed instead at all the Christmas adverts that are out waaaaaaaaay too early! Bah Humbug!!!!! So, I know it’s not long since my last post and it may seem that I’ve just given up on trying to find imaginative titles for my blogs, but I have a lot to write about this month, and most of what I have to write about follows on from my October post so it seemed appropriate….. but I promise my next post won’t be entitled December! 😉 I am always interested to see which of my blog posts strike a chord with people and which ones seem to draw the most feedback. It was interesting last month after my little rant about October and the talk of the mental health issues that can accompany a diagnosis such as ...
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October

Well it’s that time of year again! The dark nights are drawing in, the jumpers are out and the heating is on. We’re starting to wonder where the summer went and worry about the long winter ahead. The leaves are turning golden and falling off the trees, and the change of season is so beautifully apparent. I don’t know about everyone else, but this time of year always gets me looking back and reminiscing a bit, this may be in part due to a now annual tradition I have with some friends to meet every October for a spa weekend. Sometimes it is our only chance during the year to get together and chat, so of course there is a lot of looking back at the year since we last met. This year was no different, and wow how things have changed for me in the last year. I don’t think I realised it at the time, but last October was probably when I was at my lowest point since my diagnosis and losing mum. At first when all the bad stuff was happening, I kinda just got on with things. I suppose it was ...
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Mountains and Rainbows

I suppose it’s about time for another blog post, in fact I think its way overdue. I’ve just been so busy of late I’ve barely had the time to process my own thoughts, let alone put them down into words! It’s probably been pretty hard to miss the fact that I’ve been doing a lot of challenges to raise money for Maggie’s, I’ve not exactly been quiet about it on social media (my apologies if it’s starting to get boring!!). I started the challenges back in February with the aim of doing a different challenge every month for a year, I started modestly but as time has gone on I’ve found the challenges getting more and more difficult or extravagant! In February I walked 10,000 steps every day, in March I ran 5K, in April I managed to rope my friends into hosting Kitchen table days (and of course did one myself), in May I swam the length of Loch Ness, In June I did a 40ft bungee jump, in July I climbed Ben Nevis and in August I walked the West Highland way! Are you tired yet?? I know I am! But...
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