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FEC it!

So first I'll start by thanking everyone for all the kind messages and gifts/cards, I've been truly touched by the response to my last blog, and once again I apologise that I haven't responded to everyone, but please know I appreciate all your kind words.

Many people have been asking how I'm doing now and how I'm responding to the chemotherapy. Hopefully this post can answer some of your questions.

So the type of chemotherapy I'm having is called FEC-T, the fist few cycles are the FEC (fluorouracil , epirubicincyclophosphamide) part. I know many people find the name FEC very funny, and for me it definitely brings back memories of watching Father Ted and of my wonderful Irish nana insisting that 'feck' is not a swear word. I have to say that when I thought about writing this blog at the end of my first cycle I fully expected to be contradicting nana and saying that FEC was most definitely an expletive, but honestly at the moment I can't quite say that. I've spent the last three weeks waiting for something terrible to hit, that never quite did. That's not to say it's been easy as such, but nowhere near as bad as I'd imagined. Every time I say this I "touch wood" in a very superstitious way as I know that this could change very quickly, but so far lady luck is most definitely on my side.

The day of my first chemo I was obviously a bit nervous, but ended up enjoying drinking tea and chatting with my friend, they even gave me lunch! A very Scottish soup and sandwich, anyone who knows me well will understand how happy I was to get a free lunch!


Tea and lunch whilst receiving chemo.

My parents made the long trip up to Inverness to stay with me for the first week and took good care of me. I didn't go to work for the first week and I definitely had a few days where I couldn't do much. The second week, after my parents had gone home I decided to go to work. I've only been working half days as I have been rather tired and I have to be careful about exposing myself to infection, but have generally been pleased with how much I've been able to do, if I couldn't work I think I'd go insane.


The worst side effects have been the odd headache and moments of extreme tiredness, my appetite is still intact (in fact unfortunately I've actually managed to gain weight, I blame the parents for that!).
After the first two weeks I was actually starting to wonder if it was even working. On day 14 I went to the hairdressers to collect my wig which seemed utterly bizarre as my hair had shown no signs of falling out at all. A few people had said "perhaps you'll be one of the lucky ones, perhaps you won't lose your hair", I didn't really want to think about this because I knew I needed to prepare myself for the inevitable, but of course those thoughts did start to creep in. I started to do what everyone advises against and look at internet forums about hair loss in FEC treatment and although everyone is different the common consensus was that around day 15 the hair loss would start. In the evening of day 14 I started to feel a cold tingling in my extremities (hands, feet, nose) and a little on my scalp. I woke up on the morning of day 15 (Friday 17th, St Patrick's day) and low and behold my hair was beginning to shed. It started off slowly, but as the days went on it got increasingly worse, my scalp was very uncomfortable (it felt a bit like when you've had a tight ponytail all day) and my clothes and pretty much everything else I owned were coated in hair, and every time I touched my head a clump of hair would come out.  I could just about put my hair up in a tiny ponytail and by all accounts to the outside world my hair still looked normal, but to me it was awful. By Monday I was already wanting to shave it off, on Tuesday I went and bought a cheap pair or clippers and on Wednesday I sat alone in my room looking at the clippers trying to build up the courage to shave it. Eventually I spoke to my friend and we agreed that on Thursday evening, the day before my second round of chemo, I would go to her house have a much needed glass of wine (something I haven't been having during the chemo) and we would do it together. So last night I finally 'braved the shave', I have to say it was something of a relief to finally stop all the shedding and pain and we had a good laugh doing it drinking wine and playing SinĂ©ad O'Conner videos. Waking up this morning without my hair however was very strange, especially when my friend's 7 year old son saw me and said "why does your hair look weird?" and "I don't like it, I can't look at you!". I know the reactions of children will be the hardest, and I'm sure I'll get used to it, but that first encounter was a bit difficult. At the weekend I'll be going to a wedding and I have no idea how that will be, I have a selection of head scarves and of course my wig but not sure which I'll feel more comfortable in, but one thing is for sure, I'm not going to let a bald head stop me from going!

I think she enjoyed this a bit too much!
Going, going, gone!


I start my second cycle today, fingers crossed it'll go as smoothly as the last.

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